Wish of confusion, wish for solution
by Stranger-of-the-void
Summary: Still confused Allen refuses to give an answer, making Kanda desperate. In this chaos of feelings,when something happens to him, will Kanda be able to save him in time, with the help of an person he last expected to help? FOR TIME BEING ON HIATUS, SORRY
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there guys!**

**It's me, Kamo-chan! I'm back! Back from my writing break or whatever you wanna call it...^^"**

**Well, frankly I was just writing this story, and I'm still not finished with it,**

**I'm stuck with the last chapter, but don't worry...:)**

**At least I can upload the first chapters for you, my dear readers!**

**I'm sorry that you had to wait so long for me, the lazy ass to write,**

**and I want to apologize for it to everybody. *bowing down in guilt***

**Now, after months of writing, having to endure the fu*** school and whatever stuff at home I finally put up the first chapter of my sequel! **

**The sequel of "_Wish of love, wish of sin"_ you have (had?) waited for...**

**I'm not really satisfied with it's title, but I can still change it later...More important is that you'll hopefully like the sequel as much as the first part, this has been giving me worries all the time while writing it...i tried my best with my inspiration, but well, who knows, maybe you'll think it'll be boring or whatever...**

**But I gotta stop my useless blabbering now, cause you'll surely want to read^^"**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own -man or any of its characters, otherwise I would put on two chapters at once for all the poor fans outside there!**

**Aaaand...one more thing...for me, this is something special this time, cause I wanna dedicate this story to a good, dear friend, a special friend :)**

**This story is dedicated to you, Pandy-chan! My special fanfiction-net friend! (And more if you want)**

One month. One fucking month. He had waited one month and his patience was now dangerously thin, worn of by what the seemed like eternal waiting. For an answer. For his answer. Damn it, one month was to much! Kanda felt like he had to bang his head against the wall, again and again. He had been waiting for an answer for four weeks now, since that day Allen and he had their...encounter with Aren, the once suppressed desire inside the white haired which- or better who had rather forcefully taken what he wanted. After trying to get Allen out of his room where he had locked himself Kanda had promised him time to clear his feelings for him. That was one month ago, and the dark haired couldn't wait any longer, fuck, not more then four weeks! Since that time the white haired had kept avoiding him, he didn't stay in the same room, he didn't speak more then necessary, he practically fled out of the bath as soon as he saw Kanda and had run out with all of his clothes on, he didn't spare with him anymore, he didn't even look at him anymore! Angrily Kanda walked to the kitchen, ignoring the frightened finders stumbling aside to let him through and took his usual meal, soba noodles with green tea, carrying it towards an empty desk where he banged the plate onto the wood, nearly breaking it. In his anger he didn't notice that said white haired was there as well, sitting together with Lavi and Linalee on another desk. "Say...is it just my imagination or is the aura around Yuu-chan even darker then usual?", Lavi asked carefully, slightly nervous while he glanced to the soba eating exorcist, then he looked at his desk neighbors. "Oh, I don't know...well, I think he must be angry about something, but what?", Linalee said thoughtfully, twirling one strand of her hair while she looked as well to their friend and turned towards Allen, who chewed absentminded on a piece of bread with ham, asking him: "And you? Do you have an idea what it could be?" She stared at the white haired who didn't react, his look still far away somewhere else in his mind. "Allen-kun?"", carefully she nudged him against his shoulder, the white haired jerked back in surprise, frightened looking around. "W-what?" "Haven't you listen? I just wanted to know if you had an idea who angered Kanda!", Linalee said slightly confused, staring at the silver eyed who's eyes widened shortly, before he immediately looked away, replying: "No, I don't know..." The black haired girl shook her head, exchanging a glance with Lavi who sighed deeply and leaned back with his arms behind his head. "You are acting weird, Allen-chan! Sine that day you aren't yourself anymore, plus Kanda isn't in the best mood as well, even more then usually. Are you sure this got nothing to do with that...event? Look, we just want to help you, so why don't you just tell us what has-" "No Lavi! I'm...I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about it. And I'm sure Kanda just has his usual bad mood, this got nothing to do with that...day", the white haired murmured, smiling weakly at Lavi and Linalee who didn't looked convinced. The silver eyed sighed, eyes wandering over the big plate of food he had in front of him, they wandered ahead, further away, over the talking and eating people, through the many desks before they fell on a certain dark haired exorcist, who just looked up at the same moment.

Silver eyes collided with sapphire blue eyes, which widened in surprise, their eyes go caught themselves in each other, for a moment nothing else was important, all of the other noises disappeared, his skin started to tingle, then Kanda was standing up, abruptly Allen ripped his look away, feeling dizzy. He saw the dark haired quickly walking towards them and stood up as well. "Huh? Allen, whats the matter?", Lavi asked surprised, his green eye scanning the white haired's strange expression, who just murmured: "I'm not hungry anymore, sorry", then he ran away, leaving his two friends with open mouths behind. Then, after a short silence, Lavi found his voice again, trying to say something, just when Kanda walked past, leaving his bowl unfinished, every step he made showed a suppressed anger and something else, though Lavi didn't understand why. Both stared after the disappearing dark haired, not knowing what to say, the red head coughed and said confused: "What was that? I don't understand what's wrong with Allen! There must be something seriously wrong with him, he never loses his appetite! And what's with Kanda? He may be most time in a bad mood, but not like that! Seriously, they are both having a problem and hiding it, but what? What happened?" Linalee sighed, looking at Lavi with worries in her violet eyes: "I don't know, Lavi. As long as they don't tell us we won't know..."

_/ Try to breath normal, calm down! It was just a look, just a look...you still have time.../_, Allen chanted in his head, chewing on his lower lip without noticing it until he suddenly tasted blood, the copper and ivory taste ripping him out of his messed up thoughts. The white haired trembled, feeling totally confused. The look he had exchanged with Kanda...The rage and desperation, mixed with deep desire inside had been clearly visible, frightening Allen who had immediately broken the contact, not feeling ready to face him directly. He knew the dark haired wanted an answer, but he still couldn't give him one, in his mind the thoughts were upside down, different voices screaming against each other, battling for different decisions. What should he do? Just what should he do? Allen groaned, slowly sinking down the wall he had been leaning against and buried his face into his hands, then bit onto his lips until he tasted more blood and licked the few drops off absentminded. Damn it. Again he hid his face, hands burying themselves into his white hair and pulling at it, trying to distract himself from thinking about it any longer. _/ Forget it...forget it...you still have time.../,_ he thought desperately. Right at this moment a sudden, new sound broke through the chaos in his mind, his head whipped around frightened. Steps. Someone was coming into his direction, quickly. Soft and barely noticeable, yet with a barely suppressed anger and something else which he couldn't really name, swung in their sound, steps which were too familiar. Kanda. Hastily he stood up and started to walk away, the steps behind him stopped shortly, the became quicker as well, clearly determined to reach him, and now the feet owner's called out angrily: "Oi, Moyashi! Stop walking! Wait!" Trying to ignore the dark voice Allen quickened his steps until he was running, and finally, finally he saw his door and with one, two more steps he ripped it open, falling into the calming safety of his room, the darkness laying itself over his scared and confused mind like a protection, a thick blanket which would keep out all the demanding thoughts away. Although he knew it wasn't for long, they would come back, attacking him even harder then before, pulling and ripping on his mind like a pack of hungry wolves, howling at him in the voices of his bone-breaking thoughts. Quickly he twisted the door knob, closing and locking the door before he sunk down in shaky relief, to not have to face Kanda again. Labored he crawled to his bed and threw the blanket over his body, hiding himself under the comforting, warm darkness, his breath hitched when he heard someone banging against the door, growling impatiently: "Moyashi! I know you are there inside, so open the fucking door! You know what I want, so come out!" Only silence answered him, Allen stubbornly kept his mouth shut, not wanting to answer him, his heart beating fast in his chest. "Fine", Kanda bit back after a moment of waiting, disappointment and anger in his voice, "But you know that you running away from me won't bring a thing. You'll have to tell me after some time." With that the dark haired turned around and walked off to his own room. Inside his room Allen bit into his pillow, trying to suppress the scream of desperation in his throat while tears welled up in his eyes, listening to the sound of the disappearing steps of the one he loved. Dear lord, what should he do? What was he supposed to do?

_/ Fuck that damn Moyashi! Keeping this stupid distance to me all the time and not even answering when I'm standing in front of his door!/_ Kanda cursed inwardly, gritting his teeth he made another attack with his sword, attacking invisible enemies while he performed graceful yet deadly forms of fight arts, pushing his body to its limits, to release some of the anger which had grown inside him, frustration why Allen avoided, he was simply pissed off. Again and again he moved, hitting and kicking, the impact of his hits made his body tremble, he practiced hour after hour until his whole body was wet with sweat. Only now then he finally stopped, with a grunt he grabbed his stuff and walked off to take a shower. Carefully he opened the door to the bath, looking around to see if anybody was there, but luckily there was no sound of talking or laughter, which meant he had the onsen for himself without dealing with annoying finders or an hyper active rabbit. Carelessly throwing his towel into one of the baskets he started to carefully peel off his sweat drenched clothes, scrunching his nose he walked into the last shower and put it on. Immediately the hot water poured down onto his body, he hissed slightly when his cramped muscles started to unwind in the heat, his hair now clung to his skin, now soaking wet. Fuck it. Fuck everything. Kanda was never restless. Never. He was always cool, controlled in his actions, barely loosing it, except when people started to annoy him like Lavi. No one was allowed to touch, reach his heart, he didn't let anybody come too close to his inner self, keeping his distance to stay in control. No one had ever evoked a feeling like this, he was a lonely wolf in his fight against everything. But then Allen came. The Moyashi broke through every barrier he had built around his heart, simply and not even knowing it first, when he had looked at him with those big silver eyes, a wave of unknown feelings had shot through his heart, the shock was so big that he had barely been able to keep his icy mask. He moved him, confused him, made him unstable, every time he met him he couldn't help but feel mesmerized by his beauty. And now he was nearly freaking out because Allen kept pushing him away, avoiding him as often as possible which felt like a hit straight into his face. It was all the Moyashi's fault, with his rosy lips, the silver eyes, the soft white skin, his slender body..._/Stupid Moyashi.../_ Kanda thought, his eyes slowly started to feel heavy and closed half, the heat crawling under his skin, his hands slowly glided down and wrapped themselves around his cock, starting to stroke it, imaging once more he had Allen under him like at that time, moaning and writhing in pleasure, the pictures flashed in front of his eyes like a colored kaleidoscope. "Fuck...Moyashi...", he breathed out, arching into his own hand while he moaned out loud in a husky voice and pumped harder, the fire of desire burning in his veins like a storm.

_/I hope nobody is there inside.../_ Allen thought, nervously peeking around the corner and looked into the dark, but no one was there, the hall way was empty and quiet, so he sneaked to the bath door, quickly slipping through it and closing it. Right in front of him was the onsen bath, illuminated by soft lights and giving it a ghost-like, almost dreamy resting look, he carefully listened just to be sure, but since it was late at night he should be alone. With a sigh he walked to the clothes baskets and started to take off his clothes, without really looking stuffing them into the first basket brushing his fingers before he wrapped a towel around his hips, then he took his shampoo and soap to wash himself under the shower. After days of hiding more or less successfully hiding from Kanda he felt totally sticky and dirty, fearing of meeting the dark haired at the bath he didn't even come with Lavi anymore and finally made the decision to come at night, which seemed like the safest method to avoid Kanda here. His naked feet made soft, wet sounds on the water splashed tile floor, then he chose one of the last cabins and walked in, taking off his towel. Suddenly he noticed something, a wet sound, something liquid pouring down onto the tiles. Right next to him. _/Oh shi...no, there is someone else here?/_ Allen thought frightened, pressing himself against the cool tiles in fear, immediately thinking about what he should do, he had been so absentminded that he hadn't paid attention to anything else then his messy thoughts. Should he just run out? Or should he look who it was? But, what if it was a woman? One second later he nearly screamed in shock when he heard a moan, followed by a name which was only too familiar for him. "Moyashi..." Kanda's husky, deep voice, moaning his name in such an arousing way, not knowing that the object of his desire was right next to him in the next shower cabin. Frightened the white haired pressed himself against the tiles on the walls even harder, his heart beat inside his chest hard and fast, the blood pounding in his ears. Another moan, heavy breathing which tingled on Allens skin, making him feel uncomfortable hot in his body, a feeling which he immediately discovered as the hated, wanted lust. The urge to flee, to escape the sounds of Kanda's moaning in his ears battled with the need, the heat in his body, to listen, to give himself into the imagination that the dark haired was touching him...

With a pounding heart he continued to listen, and slowly his hands went lower, gliding over his stomach and navel before they wrapped themselves around his half hard cock. His whole body shuddered in pleasure, he almost moaned but was able to suppress it, slowly his mind filled itself with the fog of heat and arousal, listening to Kanda's voice he stroked himself harder, panting while he whimpered, throwing his head back. He could feel Kanda so close, like it were his hands on him, caressing him, stroking him, rough, calloused skin touching his own, rubbing over it, playing with his hard length. Allen's mind sunk into this imaginations, captured by the seeming eternal moment while his hands went faster, like Kanda who also breathed harder, so close and yet so far away, although they were only separated by the shower cabin's walls. The heat was too much, Allen moaned, which was thankfully swallowed by the shower water running, unable to suppress it any longer he came hard, in the same moment like Kanda because he heard the dark haired growl out loud as well, moaning his hated nickname loudly, the white haired breathed hard, trembling he sunk to the floor, collecting his breath before he stood up and fled out of the bath, shame and heat still laying on his body like a heavy weight.

"Kanda-san!" "What?", the dark haired hissed, looking up from his lunch to shoot the frightened finder a murderous glare. Although he had released some of the stress and frustration with the hard training and the sexual need in the shower he still felt like he could explode at any moment. The finder paled and stumbled back in fear, trembling like a leaf, then he finally managed to stammer: "Ah..uh..uh, K-Komui-sa has a new mission for you and wants you to come in half an hour to his office to discuss the details..." "Understood", Kanda replied, already not interested anymore in the sweating finder, but then he remembered something and asked bored: "Do you know if it is a single mission or do I get a partner for it?" The finder, who was already sneaking away froze in shock, he turned around, and stammered after thinking a bit: "I-I'm not sure, but i-i think its...uhm...i think Komui-san said it was Allen Walker..." With that he ran away, quickly diving into another group of finder to escape a possible fit of rage from Kanda's side. The dark haired's hand, which had been lifting a cup of green tea to his mouth stopped, he froze in surprise. Allen Walker...Slowly, a dark smirk started to form on his lips, his blue eyes flashed with determination, glinting with the power of a wild animal catching the trail of it's prey. Oh yes, that was a good information. This time he wouldn't let the white haired get away, to hover himself around the answer. This time not.

"What? Is...is that right?", Allen asked in a weak voice, staring at the finder who had brought him the message and now looked slightly confused. "Oh well, I'm sure, but why are you asking? I mean, I know you don't like Kanda-san, but its just for one mission...and we all know you are the only one not afraid of him, who can take him on! Plus, its only for one mission- Walker-san?" Irritated and surprised the finder looked around to only see the white haired running away into the super visor's direction, he had simply left the finder standing there who now called after him in confusion: "Walker-san? But the meeting is only in half an hour!" Allen didn't hear this anymore, too absorbed of his thoughts while h ran to Komui to prevent this from happening. No, he couldn't do this! He didn't want to have a mission with the dark haired, not with their current...problem they had, since it was already difficult enough to work with him together at normal missions. He couldn't deal with Kanda so close, not when his mind was just a chaotic mess, unsure about everything including the dark haired, not in this state he was. Allen stormed through the door, barely able to stop before he could crash into the paper covered desk, but there was no sign of the sometime really crazy scientist. "Uhm..Komui-san?", he called in confusion, wondering where the black haired man could be. No one was under the desk, the scientist also wasn't hiding behind one of the book shelves, but where else could he hide? Slowly he wandered around, past the couch where the exorcists usually sat to get the files about the missions when suddenly something grabbed his ankle and he fell, screaming in surprise and shock: "What the-?" He already feared it was some of Komui's crazy experiments somehow turned alive, but then he heard a voice call out: "Allen-kun, it's me!" He looked down, just to discover that Komui was the one who had grabbed him, the scientist was hiding under the couch. "Uh, Komui-san? What are you doing there?", he asked perplexed. "Oh well, I'm hiding from Reever-san, the supervisor said nonchalant, explaining everything with it, "He wants to give me new work! But I need a break, I wanted to show my cute little Linalee baby sister the new dress I bought for her!", he whined, releasing Allen's ankle and standing up, dusting his clothes off and flipped a few pieces of papers away. "So Allen-kun, what brings you here? The talk about the mission is only", he looked down onto his watch, "In twenty-five minutes! Aren't you a bit too early?"

"Oh, that...", the white haired exorcist nervously fumbled with the seam of his shirt, then h said hesitantly: "Its because...because...uh..." "Yes?" "its...Komui-san, I don't want to go on this mission together with Kanda." The super visor looked up from his coffee cup in surprise, asking: "But why? You and Kanda always worked together quite good, frankly you are the one Kanda works the best with, despite your...problematic relationship." "Yes, I know, but...", the white haired murmured, then he looked up and continued: "Its because of that...'day', you know it already...And no, I don't want to talk about it", he added, stopping Komui who already had opened his mouth to ask. "I can't work with him together, it would just make everything even more difficult and problematic! So please, let me work with someone else together on this mission-" "But Allen-kun, that's impossible! You and Kanda are the only exorcists for this mission currently. Marie is with Crowley in New Zealand while Linalee will soon set off to go on a mission with Lavi and Bookman. And the generals are away as always", Komui answered with repentance, the white haired became quiet, looking helpless. "So...no one could at least accompany us?", he asked, staring at the floor. "I'm sorry Allen-kun", Komui said, feeling a bit guilty, "I mean...i knew that something had happened between you and Kanda, so I tried to pair you two up with other partners, but it didn't work this time. " For a moment the scientist was quiet, then he asked gently: "Are you sure you don't want to talk about that 'day'? It must have been something terrible for you two..." The silver eyed male looked up and smiled a bit, though he didn't look very happy: "Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to...its too...to personal." "Well then...seems like I can't do more for you. But, its just one mission so I'm sure it won't kill you! And Kanda is always a bit rude, so I'm sure it will be like every mission you two had before", Komui said smiling, trying to cheer up the white haired. In the next moment there was a knock on the door, but before Komui could call "Come in!", the person stepped in, letting the door fall into its frame, then he looked around, his blue eyes widened almost unnoticeable at Allen's sight before they fixed themselves on Komui. "Oh hello Kanda-kun! So now that you and Allen-kun are already here I can start with the explaining about the mission", the black haired scientist said, walking to the desk to take two files before he picked up a paper with some notes on it.

"Well, about the mission...One month ago the finders heard strange things about a village in Germany. They say people have been attacked, that something dangerous is in the woods, like a monster, which takes away something of them. The people were like dead, although they were still alive at the same time, though I cannot explain what they mean, the rumors are not very clear. Anyway, it doesn't sound like akumas have been there, but still, if its the cause of innocence you should better be prepared, the earl never sleeps. I trust you two that you'll fulfill this mission as good as always." He grabbed the two files with the information and gave them to the two exorcists. "Please just don't act like two idiots, okay?" Komui sighed, looking at the two pleadingly, Kanda just glared at him with a As-i would-fucking-care-if-something-gets-broken-I-won't-pay-look while Allen looked away, his hair hiding his face. "Well then, you two can go now", he said and turned around to sort a few papers, sighing in annoyance. The white haired immediately stood up and quickly walked out, not even looking at Kanda who stared after him and growled, slowly walking back into his room to prepare himself and some bags for the journey. In this night Allen wasn't able to sleep and stared out of the window, into the silver moon, while the voices inside his head became louder again, yelling and screeching, louder and louder until his head started to throb in pain. He curled up into a ball on his bed, pressing his hands on his ears in desperation while his heart felt like breaking through his chest, hundreds of emotions ripping on it until he thought it would rip, and finally the exhaustion was too big and sleep had pity with him and sent his trembling body into sleep. He fought against it first, not wanting to sleep, but his head was hurting so much and his eye lids were getting heavier and heavier, escaping his control until he finally gave in, falling into sleep which took away the nausea and pain. His last thought was whatever would happen tomorrow and the following days...it would be like going through hell.

**Soo, that was it...the first chapter of the sequel...**

**I'm really not very satisfied, it kinda seems lame to me and...**

**aagh, I'm just badmouthing myself...*sigh***

**Really, it could be way better...the feelings aren't described very good, the characters seem OOC to me, everything's weird... and you will probably all agree...but I promise that more 'action' will come, really! I promise!**

**I don't want to disappoint you guys, **

**(especially not you, Pandy-chan, since this story is dedicated to you!Oh my god, I'm such a failure as an author...*depressed*)**

**who were so nice to me with your reviews for the first part...**

…**...I don't know what more to say, **

**so just...just try to cheer me up a bit and give me a honest review...T.T**

**your-now-feeling-a-bit-depressed-author Kamo-chan**

**REVIEWS PLEASE...pretty please?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there my dear readers!**

**Finally, the next chapter is on! I hope you were able to endure the waiting^^"**

**But as a reward it is bit longer then the first one, at least I think so..?**

***gos checking***

**Yes, it's longer! After all it took me something like four? Five days to write it...0.o**

**Pheew, what else can I say...i really, really hope this chapter will be more interesting,**

**cause I have this unpleasant feeling the first chapter was rather boring for you...**

**or what do you think? Since only four people reviewed so far...*coughthankyoucough***

**This chapter was also a bit difficult to write because here **

**Allen's feelings will be kinda X-rayed xxD**

**I hope I didn't fail too much...T.T**

**Just give me a brownie and I'll go and sit in my Emo corner to be depressed for a while,**

**until you have read the chapter.**

**Anyway, don't wanna annoy you more then necessary, so...^^"**

**Enjoy and have fun!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own -man or any characters of it, otherwise I would have already made a big Yaoi fangirl party with live action Yullen/Laven/Tykki Lavi etc. etc...*drooling***

The next morning was cool, they sky was gray and looked like it could rain any moment since the two exorcists and the finder, who had introduced himself as Gordon, had been waiting at the railroad station. Trembling slightly Allen slung his coat tighter around his body, restlessly he walked around his bag and pleaded inwardly that the train would come as quick as possible, although at the same time he was afraid of being caught with Kanda in one room, he could feel his eyes following him, burning in his back. Just how could he survive that, without being able to answer the question, without knowing what his answer was? The loud whistle of the train arriving ripped him out of his thoughts, quickly they walked in with their bags and claimed one cabin for themselves. As soon as they were inside, Gordon grabbed their bags and put them into the luggage rack and sat down on one of the cushioned seats and smiled at Kanda, who totally ignored him and looked around for Allen. Just to notice to his surprise that the white haired wasn't there anymore, having seemingly disappeared immediately. "Where the fuck is the Moyashi?", he asked angrily the nervous finder, who swallowed and said: "Y-you mean Walker-san? He went out to the open part of the train, the end of the wagon outside, saying something about needing fresh air...". His voice became quiet under Kanda's glare, hastily he stood up and stammered: "I t-think I'm going to walk a bit, my legs feel quite stiff", and went out of the cabin. The dark haired snorted and sat down, staring out of the windows, trees, cities and forests passing by, but he wasn't concentrated on the landscape, his thoughts were circling around a certain white haired. _/ Che, that idiotic Moyashi just tries to avoid me, but as soon as he is back inside he will answer that damn question, no matter if he wants or not/_, the dark haired male thought angrily, Allen's behavior made him nearly freak out. But no, he couldn't destroy the cabin, as tempting as it seemed, he would wait for him. Like the rule of a hunter said to wait. Calm and ready he would wait for him, like a wild animal which was waiting for it's prey to come to the beast by itself.

"Excuse me, excuse me", Allen murmured apologizing and stepped over several bags, which lay in the gangway, walking through the wagon until he finally reached the last door and sneaked through, he didn't want anyone to follow him. Fresh, cool air hit his face, almost hurting a bit on his skin, but he didn't care, all what was important now was the silence, the peace, being alone, alone with his thoughts. Because he didn't want to be alone with Kanda in a room, he couldn't deny it. Trembling slightly he leaned forward, staring at the landscape, so calm and peaceful, a complete opposite of the state his soul was. He was unsure, not knowing what to say, he was afraid of Kanda's eyes, those piercing blue eyes capturing his own, he would be unable to say anything, frozen, mesmerized. He just couldn't let this happen, he wasn't ready for this, no matter how much his heart sought, yearned for Kanda. Said organ started to beat harder, like it wanted to protest against him, his body rebelled, a wave of nausea washed over him, gasping slightly he grabbed onto the iron railing, leaning his head against the cool metal, sobbing out quietly. Just how was he supposed to keep this distance if it ripped him apart bit by bit? His body screamed for the dark haired while at the same time his mind tried to hold it back, the painful desire for Kanda being close crashed against his fears, slowly destroying him from the inside. Was there nothing to change it? _/ You really are stupid/._ The voice suddenly speaking stopped his thoughts, frightened he looked around, asking nervously: "W-who is there? Who said that?". He was alone at the end of the wagon, how was he supposed to hear voices if the door was shut? Sure, the door wasn't soundproofed , there where people talking inside, but the rattling of the train should make it impossible to hear them so clear. _/How about you use your brain?/_, the voice asked sarcastically and sighed deeply. Allen stiffened in shock and his mouth went dry, finally noticing where it came from...the voice was inside his head...and he had already heard it some time before. "Y-you? What the...what the hell are you doing in my head?", he screamed, not wanting to believe it. _/Calm down, its not like I'm going to manipulate you/, _the voice sighed. _/You wonder why I'm here inside you? Have you forgotten that I'm a part of you? I can't disappear just like that...though I'm sure you would be happier with that/._ Allen couldn't answer, to shocked to say a thing, so after a short silence the voice sighed and continued.

_/ I was there inside you since that day, no, even before that, a long time before...But that's not why I decided to speak to you...Listen, I know everything you have done so far, all of your memories, so, really...Why are you making it that complicated? Why are you torturing yourself?/_ Finally Allen was able to speak again, shaking his head like a wet dog he coughed before he gritted his teeth and hissed: "Wh...what are you talking about? I'm fine, thanks, I don't need your help, so just go back where ever you came from and leave me alone!" _/ I can't leave, I could just keep my mouth shut. And you know exactly what I'm talking about...Why are you acting like that towards Kanda?/_ Allen jerked back, knowing exactly what he meant. "Because...because I don't want him to come close", he answered quietly, staring into the sky. He heard _him _sigh inside and answer: _"For someone who has robbed countless men of their money with poker you are quite a bad liar. Why are do you keep hurting yourself? I can feel your desire to be close to him, its echoing in your blood...so don't try to lie you don't want it Why do you keep pushing him away?/ _"As if this is something I would tell you, its not your business, right?", the white haired snapped, "It's bad enough to hear you in my head!" _/Of course its my business as well, I'm a part of you. Your emotions influence me as well. I'm just trying to help, although I now you hate me because of what I did, although I did it for you.../_ "Should I really believe that?", Allen replied sarcastically, "The last time you tried to 'help' I ended up being hurt by the one I love. He...he hurt me, that's why I won't let him come close", The white haired murmured, closing his eyes, a wave of sadness washing over him. _/That's a lie/._ "It's not a lie! I can't bear it, to let him come close with what he has done!" _/It wasn't his fault alone, I have to be blamed as well, you know that. Do you just want to blame him as well because it makes it easier to push him away? Deep inside...you have already forgiven him, when he came to you...It just hurts you...so, stop doing this to yourself, I don't want you to continue this torture/_. "What are you? My brother? My father?", Allen asked sarcastically, with a hint of bitterness in his voice. A short silence came, then the voice answered: /_I don't know how you should name me...call me what you want, brother, your inner voice, your evil side...just don't call me your father, that' would be...wrong. Although, none of this names or titles would really suit me...after all I'm your awakened desire, in the form of another personality/._

"Don't try to find any lame distractions or excuses, you know what you did!", the silver eyed exorcist hissed angrily, unconsciously tightening his grip around the iron railing. /_Yes, I know...i know what I did, and it's nice that you remind of that with every opportunity. I do have feelings as well/,_ the voice snorted, then it became serious again. _/But, really...why are you fighting with yourself so much? Although you desire Kanda so much?/ _"W-what? Rubbish, I do not desire him!", Allen snapped, blushing in the color of a ripe raspberry before he added stubbornly: " Well, not a-anymore..." _/ Oh really?/, _the voice replied, sounding smut, /_Then what's with these memories?/ _Suddenly a picture flashed in front of Allen's eyes, he saw himself in the shower, moaning and stroking himself while listening to Kanda's voice, who did the same. "You-Y-you-", the white haired stammered, but couldn't curse loud due his good manners, so he cursed inwardly as loud as he could. /_Hey, don't get so loud!/, _the voice complained, / _I got it, okay? I mean, you know what I wanted to say, so get the fact into your thick head. And, you know, we already had this 'fight' about you admitting your love for Kanda...we can repeat that if you want, but I'm sure you know who would win/_ the voice said, sounding like it- he smirked broadly. "Y-you annoying, little-", Allen cried out, groaning he sunk to the floor and held his head. "...I feel like I'm getting a headache...i don't even understand myself anymore, why has it become like this? Why do you even exist? It should be impossible..." Face buried into his arms, legs pulled up he sat in the corner, being quiet for a while, then, slowly, he asked with a quiet voice: "Can...can you…...or do you know why you exist? Can you explain it to me?" /_.../ /If you want to know, I can tell you...Well, let's start with the begin: Do you remember when you had to search with Kanda for those papers from Komui? After you two searched for a while you noticed some papers on a bookshelf, climbing on a chair you fell down after you got a hold on them...do you remember what happened after that?/ _

"...In the next moment I sat on the desk", Allen murmured. _/But there happened something else before...you know, your super visor likes to make weird, dangerous potions? When you fell down you ripped a few books, papers with you...and a bottle with some potion. I don't know what kind of potion it was or what it was supposed to do, more important is that the bottle's content, that liquid, had been in contact with innocence...that innocence which created that door to that world where we met, face to face.../_. The white haired's eyes widened in shock, he felt like someone had pulled the ground away from under his feet, his mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally managed to speak: "W-what? Are you joking?" _/No, I'm not. I know it may sound really...shocking and strange, but you can't change the fact. Somehow the changed liquid reacted to your inner wishes and desires and united itself with your body...you won't remember this cause at this moment , the moment it was completely inside you it created...me. You could call this almost a birth, although I'm, to put it simple, your desire in person...I know you are worried because of the innocence, but it doesn't affect you in any other way, nothing strange will happen. Is that enough to explain?/ _I-i think so...", Allen murmured, feeling numb while trying to to handle what he had just been told. /_Anyway...to come back to the topic we had before...about Kanda. I know that you have already made your decision, deep inside the answer is already given...so why don't you just tell him?/_ "Because...", the white haired hid his face again in his arms and didn't speak for a while, so long that the voice carefully asked: /_Allen?/ _The white haired lifted his head, the silver eyes looked dull, filled with a mess of emotions which mirrored the chaos inside him. "You want to know why?", he replied in a soundless voice, laughing a small, cynical smile, "Because I'm scared. I'm scared to give myself up completely to another person. Years ago I had Mana...he was my everything, my world, my life, I gave myself to him wholly, and I was happy...so happy...but he died, and when he died, because of me...because I killed him...it felt like I was the one being pierced by my innocence. Now, years after this I find myself in love again...but I'm scared. I'm scared that my heart might not be able to bear love again, after that night of Mana's death it sometimes felt like I had glass splinters inside instead of a beating heart...Can I give myself up to Kanda? Can I? I don't know..."

After he had sit there for a while, letting the cool wind brush his face while staring into the beautiful sky, so blue, the silver eyed stood up, slowly walking back to their cabin, although every step he made felt heavier and heavier. Then he stood in front of the door, swallowing he grabbed the knob and opened the door, stepping inside. The moment he stepped inside Kanda looked up, immediately Allen was captured by those two deep blue eyes and froze on the spot, feeling like a rabbit under a wolf's stare. "H-hello Kanda" , he managed to stutter after a moment of staring at each other. "Seems like you finished your 'fresh air break'", Kanda replied sarcastically and turned away from the windows, the air inside suddenly seemed to change, feeling much heavier and tense. The white haired trembled, barely able to suppress it under the piercing dark gaze of the older exorcist, he felt like he couldn't move at all, hectically he tried to stay calm, he needed a distraction. "Uhm, where is Gordon?", he asked nervously and slowly sat down on the opposite seat from Kanda, although his body wanted nothing more then to run back through the door to escape Kanda's overwhelming presence. "He went out to walk around a bit, just after he told me you needed some air", the dark haired answered uninterested, shortly being quiet before he continued, his voice suddenly sounding completely different, much darker then before, dangerously...velvet black caressed Allen's ears who froze in fear, "But that's...good. Because we now have some time for us..." Eyes fixed on Allen he then said: "This is a good chance for us to finally talk about that thing between us, and you know what I mean. Since you are here...does that mean you will stop running away from me?" Abruptly he stood up and came closer which made the white haired swallow in fear, he pressed himself deeper into the soft cushion of the seat, squeaking: "W-what are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb, you know what I mean", Kanda growled and stepped closer again, "I mean that you are avoiding me all the time on purpose! Because you don't want to speak with me about hat promise we made, always running away with some lame excuses. How long are you going to play this game, to push m to the edge?" The younger male shifted uncomfortable, trembling slightly he stuttered: "B-but Kanda, I'm still not ready to talk about-" "And how long should I wait? Five months? A year?" He came even closer, a big, dangerous animal ready to attack at any moment its frozen prey, and hovered over Allen, lowering his head until their noses were almost touching and his hot breath ghosted over the white haired's face. "But you know what? I fucking have enough of waiting for your damn answer." With that he grabbed Allen's collar, pulling the caught of guard white haired on his collar up and slammed him against the wall of the cabin which made the younger exorcist squeak in surprise, he wrenched his eyes together in expectation of the hit which would come. But nothing happened. In the next moment he felt something soft and smooth touching his lips, he ripped his eyes open in surprise, staring straight into Kanda's sapphire blue eyes only to register that the dark haired was kissing him. "Kand-nnh!", he wanted to protest, but before he could even en the sentence something wet slipped into his mouth, starting to explore it slowly. Allen moaned in surprise, hectically trying to free his mouth out of Kanda' hard kiss, but the older one had an iron grip on his wrists and pressed them against the wall, effectively trapping the helpless white haired between his body and wall. Kanda's tongue glided over his lips, diving between them to tease his tongue, emitting another suppressed moan of the silver eyed who suddenly felt light headed, the heat of the other male's body slowly crawled int his own body although they had clothes on, his smell, heavy and strong reached his nose, arousing his senses with no warning. "Nngh...", the white haired whimpered, twitching and twisting around to escape Kanda's hungry mouth, but the dark haired only growled aggressively and pushed his lips harder against his victim's mouth, his tongue invading again and again Allen's mouth to taste his unique sweetness. "Mmh!", the white haired tried to speak, to scream at Kanda to stop it, but the more he struggled the harder the blue eyed kissed him, his body weakened more and more against the other exorcist's skilled tongue until he was nothing more then a trembling mess, moaning and whimpering.

/_ N-no, I can't...i-i have to stop, I don't w-want to...to...i have to stop Kanda.../, _he thought in the heated mess of his mind, and, with all the strength he could collect in his weakening body, he ripped his mouth free and panted: "K-Kanda, please s-stop, I don't want to-" "Shut up", the dark haired growled and bit into Allen's neck, making him cry out in pain and surprise, pushing his leg between the white haired's own and rubbed it right against the slowly hardening bulge in the helpless silver eyed's pants. The white haired cried out in shock, bucking up with his hips right against the dark haired's own, who hissed in response at the sudden pressure on his own erection. "Haah...haah...", Allen panted, almost hyperventilating at the feeling of the pants cloth slowly rubbing over the sensitive skin of his cock, tears started to form in his silver eyes, desperately he begged: "P-please Kanda, s-stop it! I c-can't take this-". But the dark haired only growled and replied huskily: "Shut up. Just shut up and stop resisting." With that he once more claimed Allen's lips hungrily, shoving his tongue inside to silence him, although the silver eyed still struggled desperately. He couldn't...He couldn't, he had to resist, to push Kanda back, he wasn't ready for this burning pleasure between them, again and again he fought for control but wasn't able to escape. /_N-no...please s-stop it.../,_ was his last thought before his resistance weakened and finally disappeared before he gave in with a whimper. The dark haired seemed to feel this because he immediately pulled him closer against his own, hot body, their erections pressing against each other, his lips slowly and sensually wandered down Allen's trembling neck while his hands crept under his shirt, gliding over the hot skin before they went lower, lower, reaching the seam of Allen's pants, the white haired panted loudly while feeling Kanda's fingertips slipping under the cloth- "Uhm, Kanda-san, Walker-san, we'll be there in a few-", just at this moment Gordon came in while saying this, but froze when he saw the two exorcists so close to each other. His voice destroyed the heat both males had been into, the chaos in Allen's mind disappeared, immediately the white haired reacted and pushed Kanda away, feeling the slightest touch of finger tips sliding over his skin before they were parted, both exorcists stared at the finder while breathing slightly heavily. "Uh, I...oh, uhm...I-i just wanted to let you know that we'll be there in a few minutes..", the finder stuttered and stumbled backwards before he turned around and sneaked through the door awkwardly.

The white haired breathed out slowly, fixing his clothes with red cheeks while he refused to look at Kanda who cursed angrily and growled, already wanting to walk through the door to the finder when he felt a hand on his shoulder: "We haven't finished yet, the topic isn't through, you know that", the dark haired male said, growling, "Or do you want to run away again?" Allen swallowed and shifted nervously under his piercing, hungry gaze, the heat flaming up again inside his body, remembering the voice's words which- who had spoken to him, to tell Kanda what he felt. "I...", he began and stopped. Something inside him clicked, and pictures of how Kanda had treated him, after what had happened, the way those blue eyes had been looking at him when he had tried to speak to him in the cafeteria...those eyes which usually never showed any emotions besides anger and coolness, desperation and need, the need for him shimmering in those blue orbs, the pure agony after he had slapped him and told him he hated him...how he had apologized in front of his door, nervous and tensed, that frightening sword wielder who's aura usually could make babies cry and windows break, saying his name so gentle, so soft, begging for him...and he knew that he could no longer run away, for Kanda's and his sake. With this new decision he looked up after a short silence and slowly spoke, wanting to make sure the older knew he was serious: "I know. And I won't run away again. I...I know it wasn't right to do that, but...I-i want to explain everything to you, everything, I promise! But only after this mission, not before and not here, I still need some time t think h-how I'm going to say it, so...a-are you okay with that?" The dark haired male paused, thinking shortly before he replied: "I'll take you by your word. But, if you are trying to run away again...", he said threatening and stared at Allen who froze in fear. "W-what will you do then?", he asked slightly nervously. "Then I'm going to tie you to my bed and 'torture' you so long until you admit everything", the blue eyed exorcist replied casually and smirked when Allen's cheek flamed up in a deep red, stuttering: "Y-you-" "Oh, it seems like we're there now, ", he said and walked to the door, but stopped before he turned around and walked back to Allen who was still blushing. "Oi, Moyashi!" "What?", the white haired asked confused and squeaked in surprise, because in the next moment Kanda grabbed his shoulders and pressed his lips against Allen's, using his surprise to slip his tongue inside, shortly licking over them, then he released the gasping white haired and enjoyed his deep red blush over his face. "Y-you pervert! Bakanda!", he screeched and ran after the dark haired who was already through the door and outside.

After they left the train, they had to walk through a forest to find the village which was a bit further away from the city they had been coming from. Many people n the city knew the way, although they warned them to go there because of weird rumors they had heard, apparently no city people knew exactly what was happening there. After an hour they finally reached it, in front of them now lay the village with nice houses, it was almost as big as the city, beautiful and calm. Slowly they walked down through the gate into it and walked across the streets. "I don't know what, but something is wrong here", Allen said worried and scanned the area, the streets were empty, nobody was outside, the silver eyed once saw a few single figures but they seemed to be in a hurry, running through the streets with a lowered head like they feared something could hit them out of the blue with an attack. "Yeah. See that? There are destroyed houses and its calm...too calm", Kanda said slowly, his eyes on guard. "Can you see any Akumas here?" "No, if there were any I would have noticed them much earlier and have already told you this...but then, what happened here?", the white haired asked confused. "Maybe it was something with innocence?". The dark haired already wanted answer when suddenly a man who scurried past on the other side of the street noticed them, running towards them and calling out: "You! What are you doing outside here? Hurry, come into my house!" With that he grabbed Allen's arm and dragged him behind him, quickly followed by Kanda and the finder. "What the fuck was that?", the dark haired hissed at the man as soon as they were inside, with locked doors and closed windows. But the man only lifted his hands in defense: "But it was only for your safety! Don't you know what terrible has happened here? You must be from another city!" Both exorcists and the finder stared at the man, who sighed and said: "I know you won't believe me, but...our village is haunted by a monster! It's a terrible creature which does dreadful things to our people here I cannot explain! See it yourself-", he guided them upstairs into a small room. It was a children room, in the bed was laying a little girl with brown hair which seemed to be asleep. "See?", the man said, full of sadness and knelt beside the child to gently wipe away some hair. "My daughter. She was...she was attacked by that-that monster, and whatever it did, its like she's not here anymore! Since that she doesn't move, doesn't speak, doesn't eat, its like she's dead, all she does is breathing, I can feel her heart beat but nothing wakes her up! I don't know what to do...", sobbing quietly he buried his head into the blanket.

With wide eyes Allen stared at the crying man and grabbed Kanda's arm, who also stared at the man, an angry, thoughtful look in his eyes. "Kanda, we have to help him! Do you think this was the innocence?" "I'm not sure...after all Komui told us about a 'monster' attacking the village which sounds more like Akumas, but-" Right at this moment suddenly screams could be heard outside, the man's head jerked up, his face paled visibly. "It's here", he whispered, "The monster is here again." The two exorcists immediately turned around and ran to the door, ignoring the man's frightened yell: "No, don't go outside Are you crazy? Come back, or the same thing like my daughter will happen to you!" But Allen already ripped the door open and froze, his mouth opened in shock. "Dear lord", he aspirated. "What the fuck is that?", the dark haired cursed, staring at what was happening in the streets. On the dirty gray cobble stones of the streets hundreds of tentacles like arms crawled around, swarming like a sea of black snakes sliding over each other, shooting into the air and pushing against the houses, coming closer with every second. Between and in front of them were running screaming people who tried to reach their houses, but the tentacles shot after them and caught them. The terrified people were helpless, screaming and fighting they struggled to break free but before they could the black tentacles stabbed through their chest's, leaving their bodies motionless on the ground. "Fuck, that's enough!", Kanda growled and grabbed Mugen, the weapon glowing bright with the energy which flared high, followed by Allen who already had Crown Clown activated, ready to strike, both exorcists jumped at the strange tentacles. "Die!", Kanda hissed, his blue eyes flaming, and sliced through several of black snake like arms, his body moving with deadly grace, releasing his anger on them while Allen shot back and forth through them, cutting them with his claw while fighting side by side with the dark haired. "Fucking-damn-things", Kanda cursed through gritted teeth, now that the two were fighting and all the other remaining people had ran into their houses the tentacles kept attacking only them, shooting into their direction nonstop. "Why are there still coming more?", Allen panted, slashing through several which fell down moving around twitching, the dark haired male angrily cut through others which tried to hit him, growling back: "Fuck, as if I knew!"

"We have to find the source of them, I can't see the actual 'monster'- ", the white haired had turned around half, towards the dark haired, but interrupted himself when a yank went through his body and he looked down surprised, his silver eyes widened. A black, twitching tentacle was plunged right from his back through his upper body, the end protruded out of his chest. A soft, surprised "Oh!" came over his lips, in the next second the tentacle pulled out with something bright and glowing it's grip before it crawled back fast, disappearing through the streets with the other tentacles. Kanda who had been standing with his back to Allen and turned around at his words, watched in horror how the tentacle pulled out, seeing how Crown Clown was deactivated and the white haired falling forward like a limp rag doll, running as fast as he could he was just quick enough to catch the younger one before his head hit the ground. "Fuck! Moyashi!", he yelled, shaking the white haired's slack body, but nothing happened. Allen's face looked like he slept, his chest moved up and down, no wound could be seen on his body, not even his clothes were torn where he had been stabbed by that tentacle, the blood pulsing through his veins steadily. Why wasn't he waking up, why didn't he react? Kanda's heart started to beat faster, hard and painful inside his chest, heavy, acid tasting fear fluttered in his stomach while he carefully wiped a few strands of Allen's hair out of his face, it felt like an ice cold hand was slowly crushing his heart into bloody, mushy pieces. "Fuck...". He needed to bring him to the Order. Fast.

**Aaand...a cliffhanger! Hehe, I know you will probably all hate me for this,**

**but hey, I have to keep it exciting, right?**

**This is the oldest trick for authors, so don't get mad please-*dodging a pair of shoes***

**Okay okay, I got it! Please stop this! **

***goes back into her Emo corner while pouting and chewing on her brownie***

**You are all probably now thinking like mad what will happen next...**

**I could give a hint but hat would just ruin the fun, don't you think so, too? :)**

**Anyway, I am really curious what you think about this chapter...was it exciting?**

**Interesting?**

**I hope I described Allen's feelings well, cause it was important for me to make them clear, since a few readers could have not understand it very well, so...i just hope he isn't OOC...**

**So, give me a few reviews and I'll try and upload the next chapter faster! **

**Reviews give me a mood support ! (Or chocolate, but only if Allen brings it to me :P )**

**your author Kamo-chan**

**REVIEWS PLEASE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi my dear readers!**

**Yeah, I know...it really has been such a long time, a very long time since I last uploaded the second chapter, and I'm really really really really sorry for that!**

**Please forgive me! Ouch, I'm sorry, really! **

***getting hit by a rain of shoes thrown from angry readers***

**I really apologize...and because of this I made the chapter EXTRA long, I think like shortly ten thousand words!**

**I hope you can forgive me, so...**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own -man or any characters of it, otherwise I would have probably already made Aren Allen's real twin brother xD**

„Just why doesn't he wake up?", Lavi asked exhausted and stared at the unmoving face of Allen, who was laying in a bed of the hospital ward, being the only one who was wounded seriously. After the start of their mission Kanda had only come back two days later, carrying a seemingly unconscious Allen with him, followed by a worried finder. The dark haired had wordlessly brought him into the Order, past the frightened finders and into the ward and had disappeared into his room since then. "I don't know Lavi", Linalee replied sadly and gently wiped a few hairs out of the white haired's face, carefully checking his pulse and softly pressed against his cool cheek, but Allen didn't react.

Like to every other try they had made to wake him up, they had talked to him, shook him, touched him, called his name but nothing had worked, it was like he was dead, his only life signs being his breath and the pulse. The two friends had been waiting at his side as soon as they had heard what happened, being back sooner then they thought from their mission, both almost scared to death when they saw Kanda carrying Allen, who hung in his arms like a lifeless doll, into the hospital ward.

"Do you...do you think it could be like with Crowley? That he is in a coma? I mean, after all he doesn't wake up", the red head said thoughtfully and sat beside Linalee, who shrugged helplessly and replied: "Maybe, but I hope not. Remember how long it took him to wake up? I don't want the same thing happening to Allen!" "But no one knows what it could be...we only know what Kanda told us, nothing else. We don't even know if this was really innocence or not! Then, an Akuma wouldn't make sense since Allen didn't notice any of them close by...shit, just what could it be?", the green eyed cursed and supported his head in his hands.

Next to him Linalee trembled and sobbed quietly, saying slowly: "Lavi, what...what if he doesn't wake up? What if he stays like this forever?" "Don't think like this, he will wake up! He has to, you know that Allen would never want us to worry so much. He will wake up...he has to...", the red head pressed her shoulder comforting and the girl sniffed, leaning her head against his shoulders, both looking at their friend.

_/ Fuck yeah, he HAS to wake up /_. Outside the hospital ward was Kanda leaning against the wall, who had heard everything Lavi and Linalee had said, slowly he pushed himself off the wall and walked away into the training ground, knuckles white with the force he had made fists. Of course he had visited Allen, but only when no one else had been there, deep in the night when it was quiet, then he had sat down beside the bed and had stared for hours at the motionless face of the one loved, listening to his soft breathing and touching his skin which seemed colder then usual but still so soft.

It was all his fault. It was his fault that Allen was now laying there like he was dead, not reacting to anything, he had distracted him so that this...tentacle thing had pierced through his chest and taken out something, which he had already told the super visor, but even Komui had no idea what had happened. All his fault. Breathing hard he concentrated and moved, hitting the training sandbag with so much force that it flew through the air before swinging back hard. Again. And again. Slowly the skin on his knuckles burst, dark spots started to stain the ground and the cloth of the sandbag, the metallic smell of blood lay in the air, but that didn't stop him, instead he stroke even harder against the sandbag. And then, when the pain wasn't enough against the stone wall until blood dripped down his hands. But it was not enough, not enough pain to drown his guilt, to bury the icy fear in his heart that Allen may not wake up again.

"The third day and still nothing has changed", Linalee murmured, carefully even the blanket which covered the motionless body of Allen, except their voices his breathing was and the constant beeping pf the different machines which controlled his life signs it were the only sounds. "Yeah, sadly...but at least his condition is steady, nothing like he isn't able to breath on his own", the bookman apprentice tried to cheer her up and smiled at her when he suddenly got an idea. "Hey about we go to the cafeteria and take some food? I'm sure you're hungry and plus it might trigger something in Allen." "Okay...", the pig tailed girl answered and smiled a bit, then she walked with Lavi through the door, not without calling back at Allen: "We'll be back in a few minutes, you won't be alone for long".

The door closed and it was quiet again except the beeping and the male's breathing. A dead like scene without life. Suddenly there was another sound, something small and slim moved over cloth, a slight rustling. It was one of Allen's fingers which twitched slightly, slowly, very slowly after several minutes all fingers moved, the twitching went through all body parts like a wave dispersing, his lips opened fluttering but his eyes were closed and his breathing got faster. In the next moment a jolt went through his whole body, all limbs stiffened, his back arched up while the beeping of the heart control machine got louder and louder, hectic green waves rolling through the screen faster and faster in an alarming rate, more and more, a penetrating sound but no one was there to hear it.

In the next second a scream ripped the former silence apart, through the air, the white haired's eyes opened wide, his upper body shot up while his hands grabbed the sheets so hard that the knuckles turned white and a faint ripping could be heard. "Wha-", hectically the white haired male looked around with wide open eyes, his chest still moving up and down fast but the heart control machine slowed down. His silver eyes which hold a confused, agitated expression, scanned everything in the room, trembling he lifted his hands to look at them, white and black with a cross on it when suddenly a creak could be heard and the door opened.

Lavi and Linalee stepped in with a plate of food, discussing: "I told you the cherry muffins were already all eaten! And also, why did you have to-". Right at this moment both saw Allen sitting in his bed and staring at his hands and Linalee let the plate fall down where it scattered in pieces, decorated with smashed food. The silver eyed's head jerked around at this sound and he stared at the two. In the next moment Linalee cried out: "Allen! Allen, finally you' re awake! How do you feel? Can you move your body?" The red head beamed in joy and ran towards his friend's bed, calling: "Hey Allen buddy! I'm so happy, finally you're awake-"

"Where am I?", the white haired asked slowly while still breathing heavy. "In the hospital ward of course, but why are you asking? Hey, what are you doing?", the red head asked confused and moved closer. "In the- oh no", Allen repeated with wide eyes and bounced up, roughly grabbing the injection needle for the infusion of food and ripped it out, doing the same with the measurement equipment for life signs attached on his body and threw the blanket off, quickly standing up. "hey, stop that, you have to stay in the bed, we have to let the nurse check everything first before you can go!", Lavi protested, grabbing Allen's arm who wobbled on his feet, but to his surprise the silver eyed slapped his hand aside and hissed: "Stop that! Nothing is fine! Tell me, where is Kanda?"

"What? Kanda? What do you want from him?", Linalee asked totally confused, Lavi said slowly: "I think he may be in the training grounds, but why do you need to-" "That doesn't has to concern you, so leave me alone!", Allen cut them angrily and walked out of the room, leaving two other exorcists stunned, staring at each other before they ran after the white haired. "Wait, Allen! You should better stay in bed, you aren't healed already!", Linalee pleaded him, but the silver eyed ignored her, as well as the people who stared at his clothes, barefoot and only loose black pants with a long sleeved black shirt. "But Linalee is right Allen! Come back with us, you can even not walk properly!" Lavi said both worried and confused, once more reaching out for the white haired's right arm because he still wobbled a bit, but again Allen slapped his hand aside and yelled at him: "Don't you get it? I don't need your help, so fuck off! I've got no time for the stupid ward!"

Lavi and Linalee froze in shock, staring at the white haired with wide open mouths. He had never, never! acted so rude and angry...Allen, the Order's most sweet, innocent exorcist, a number one gentleman had said...fuck? "Allen?", the black haired girl asked shocked, staring at her friend who growled and tussled his hair, hissing: "Just leave me alone! You don't get a thing, so go fuck off! I really don't have the time for this, I need to talk with Kanda!" With that he stormed off to the training grounds, still followed by his friends who couldn't believe what he had just said.

"Kanda!" The dark haired, wearing nothing but loose black pants and a sleeveless black shirt had just began training again, he had taken a break after he had exercised almost the whole night, when a sudden yell interrupted his thoughts and he looked up. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw no one else then Allen storming towards him followed by Linalee and Lavi. "What the fuck...Moyashi? Have you awaken?", he asked shocked and stared at the white haired who was breathing slightly heavy, noticing that he only wore a pajama and no shoes. "I'm not-damn, we need to talk! Kanda, you have to help me! You have to help him!"

"What? You mean...Aren?", the dark haired had lowered his voice to hide what he had said for Lavi and Linalee who stared at the two confused. "No! Kanda, can't you see it? It's _me, _not Allen!", the white haired explained, desperation in his voice. The older one immediately knew what he meant, he almost twitched in shock but kept his cool expression and turned towards the other two exorcists, growling: "You two! Go now, I need to talk to the Moyashi _alone_."

"But he is still not ready to walk around just like that-", the pig tailed girl protested and was interrupted by Kanda: "Don't worry, I'll take care of him. Now go." With a lost look Linalee and the red head turned around and walked away with lowered heads, obviously thinking hard. "Finally", the white haired muttered and turned towards Kanda who stared at him with sharp eyes. "So, now about you: Would you explain me why the fuck you are there, not Allen?" "...I'll tell you everything, but please, I need to sit down...and maybe at a place where nobody will hear us", Allen- Aren replied slightly exhausted, reeling when he stepped forward.

"Come. We will go to my room", the dark haired said shortly and grabbed his towel, walking together to his room. After opening his door and closing it, the dark haired went to change his clothes, growling at Aren who sat on the bed: "Now, start talking." "Yes...", the white haired sighed and went with his hand through his hair, then he started to talk: "I...i don't remember much because the moment that- that _thing _pierced through Allen I lost my consciousness as well...I-i tried to keep him there, inside h-his body, but this thing was stronger! I pulled, I struggled, I hold onto him, I tried to push it back, to stop it, but this thing...the suction it created was too hard, too fast, too big to hide away from it...You have to know that I share almost every memory with Allen, since I'm living in his body...or mind, but...but I hadn't planned to come out again, not like that! When I realized I was unable to keep him inside himself, that I wasn't able to save him...I still tried to hold him, but then he got pulled out and...all I could do was to grab a hold inside his body and then, everything went black...the next thing I remember is that I woke up in the hospital ward..."

He lowered his head, supporting it with his hands, then he looked up again, his eyes full of emotions which were barely hidden under the vibrating silver. "You have to help me! Help me saving Allen...please", his voice sounded raw and scratchy, thin with desperation. The blue eyed stared down at him, he could almost not believe what Aren had just told him, it sounded too terrible, because this meant that Allen was in the grip of this..this thing, whatever it was. No, he would not leave him alone, he would save him, with Aren...even if he didn't trusted him really, he didn't know if the other planned something. But his voice hadn't sounded like he had lied, too raw and desperate, drowned in this emotions.

"I'll help you. But first we need to tell Komui about this...fuck, how the hell am I supposed to explain him this shit?", Kanda growled in annoyance, feverish thinking about the pushy questions the super visor could ask."Leave that to me", Aren said, having visible calmed down after the dark haired had said yes, and stood up, "I know how to explain this 'shit' ".

"So, you are a...new personality inside Allen?", Komui asked disbelieving, staring at Aren over the edges of his glasses suspiciously. "Yes. I was created when 'Allen' was pulled out of his body", the white haired replied unmoved, lying smoothly without batting an eye while Kanda restlessly paced up and down behind the couch and growled impatiently, he couldn't wait to finally go saving Allen.

"But in Kanda's report was written that the people which had been attacked were like dead, they were alive but in something like a coma or a very deep sleep. So how is it possible that you, a new personality was 'created' ?", the super visor asked sceptically and took a sip from his coffee cup, eying the white haired suspiciously. "I think...its because of the innocence", Aren replied calmly, leaning back slightly while he looked at Komui, "It must have had another effect on Allen because he-and me, too- is an innocence carrier, on top of that a parasite type...Who knows what kind of effect the innocence can do in a body? Whatever it was, it was no Akuma for sure, so it has to be innocence. This must have created me..."

"And how do we know that you are not..the fourteenth?", Komui asked sharply, visible on his guard. "I'll watch over him and make sure he doesn't make any shit. And if he's a noah...i#m capable of fighting against one, you know that Komui", Kanda interrupted him cool with a hint of impatience in his voice and walked back to the couch, gripping the edge of it hard. The scientist sighed and took another sip of his coffee, scratching his head. "Well,if you watch out...I trust you with this...just be careful, this innocence seems very dangerous..."

The dark haired rolled his eyes and snorted, following Aren who was already outside and on his way to Allen's room, but suddenly he heard Komui call out: "Oh, and Kanda?" "What?", the blue eyed growled annoyed and turned around, seeing just in time how Komui threw something glittering at him and caught it before it hit his chest. "What's that?", he asked and stared down at the thing in his hand. It was a bracelet with strange signs carved into the silver metal, vague familiar to him, but he didn't remember what they meant. It also had a lock on which could be opened easily. "This is a special bracelet, it suppresses innocence and its activity. I gave you this because I don't know what exactly will await you as soon as you find this dangerous innocence...", worry was clearly written into Komui's face.

Kanda snorted and said: "Stop acting like a father, I already have more then enough with stupid old Tiedoll, we can watch over ourselves! I'll take care of him", he nodded into the direction where Aren had disappeared. "Well, then...", the super visor sighed and leaned back in his chair, giving Kanda a half smile. "I trust you and your abilities, you were always capable of doing what is needed. Now go, I don't want to hinder you any longer! Just bring him back safe..."

"This feels kinda weird...", Aren said aloud and tugged carefully on his exorcist coat, letting the black cloth slide through his gloved fingers and scratched his neck. "What the fuck are you talking about?", Kanda growled back, not really in the mood to talk, not that he ever really talked that much with others, but right now he was especially not very keen on blabbering useless stuff. All his thoughts circled around a certain other white haired, to get as fast as possible to him and save him.

" Shut up and move it, I want to get to that damn city as fast as possible without you slowing down! If you have that much time to worry about your clothes you could at least walk faster!", the dark haired said, sarcasm clothing his words which stung like poison, something which would normally make every finder get scared, staring at him with big eyes like little rabbits afraid of a snake hovering over them dangerously.

Just that Aren wasn't some little rabbit-or easily frightened finder to get affected that easily. "I wasn't talking about my clothes, but it was clear you lack the sensibility to notice, and though I hate to say this it won't make that much of a difference if we hurry up. We won't be able to reach that village today at day time, it will be dark outside- and I really wouldn't try to find it at night with some possible monster like innocence lurking there in the woods..." "Fucking great! With other words we got into the train for nothing". Aren sighed and leaned back, ignoring the curious side glances the other people were throwing them.

Unfortunately they hadn't gotten an compartment for themselves, since it wasn't a high classed train they had taken and too much people were inside to stay alone in one, not that it was that crowded to get squashed. But even with the whole train being stuffed with passengers they would have had enough space because Kanda was currently emitting his murderous Annoy- me-and-I'll-kill-you-so-slow-and-painfully-that-you-wish-you-were-never-born-aura, gritting his teeth in anger while his fingers tapped on the seat's cushion.

Aren found this kinda amusing and grinned a bit, then he returned his attention to the window were the sun slowly sunk down in the horizon, painting red and other colors over the dark blue which slowly crept up over the sky. "We'll have to go to a hotel for the night", he murmured, watching with half closed eyes how Kanda growled, his hands tightening around Mugen. I know you are a angry, but you should try to calm down, it won't help Allen if y-"

"What? What do you even know? As if you even care about the Moyashi! You are just happy to not have him there!", the dark haired hissed, feeling a sick satisfaction when he saw how Aren twitched, the calmness and feigned lack of interest of the situation being broken like a thin porcelain mask, his face darkening dangerously. He knew it wasn't fair or nice to say something like this, since Aren seemingly(?), obviously cared for Allen, but the words couldn't be stopped anymore, he needed something to release his anger on, it poured out of him like poison and he didn't care at the moment if he had hurt Aren with it.

"Don't you dare to say that I don't care about Allen, you know nothing about what I feel", the white haired hissed, ice in his eyes, no longer sitting relaxed in his seat, instead his body was tensed up now while he was leaning towards the dark haired slightly. "I can fucking say whatever I want, after all its true!", he hissed, intending to press those words further into the pother one's flesh.

The white haired twitched again, anger clearly in his face and in the next moment he stroke out with his hand, targeting Kanda's cheek. But his hand did not even touch the skin because just one second later his wrist was caught in a steel like grip and a yank forced him closer to the dark haired's face who growled slowly: "Don't try to hit me, I won't let anyone do this to me, except the Moyashi maybe, so keep it back..."

With that he released Aren's wrist, who glared at him and shortly growled back but let his hand sink down, right at the moment when the porter came in and asked in an experienced, with a barely hidden boredom- voice: "Good evening, ticket control! Would you please show me your tickets, dear ladies and gentlemen?" Distracted Kanda turned his head to see who had come, missing how Aren's silver eyes twinkled dangerously cattily, too late he felt two hands which grabbed his collar and yanked him around into the other direction, caught off guard he looked into silver eyes before Aren crashed his lips against his own, using his mouth which he had opened to curse for slipping his tongue inside which made the dark haired moan in surprise, followed by a muffled curse.

Right in front of everyone, who stared at them with eyes as big as plates, including the shocked porter who now looked like he had drank five cups of high quality coffee in one row. The white haired shortly played with his tongue, nibbling onto Kanda's lower lip and then stopped, pressing his lips firmly and hot against the other one's lips, taking his time to kiss him demanding. And although inwardly Kanda wanted to kill the silver eyed he couldn't suppress the pleasant heat slowly coiling in his abdomen, threatening to grow into something even bigger with the way Aren's soft yet firm lips moved against his own, his tongue curling around his own.

Right when his nerves started to prick with a becoming hotter desire, the urge to feel, touch and taste naked skin on his own while he tried to push Aren away the white haired stopped, a last, short nip on his lower lip which sent a second of pain through his body before he leaned back, licking his lips with a satisfied smug grin. "Excuse me, I was a little...distracted with my friend here, could you repeat what you said?", he sweetly said to the porter who looked like he was about to faint, everybody else just stared at him like a herd of cows after a thunder storm at the two exorcists, there was a short, pregnant silence before everyone started to slowly talk again and Kanda finally found his voice.

"What the fuck? Are you out of your mind?", he hissed angrily, hands clenched into fists which twitched, but he kept the urge to hit Aren under control. "Just a payback, we are even now", Aren replied unaffected, not even twitching a bit under the other male's flaming gaze. Kanda growled and leaned back, knowing it wouldn't bring anything if he started a fight now. Not that he wanted to destroy the train or something- it seemed very tempting now, but he wasn't to keen on explaining Komui why he destroyed a compartment in a train.

And a verbal fight would bring nothing, too, seeing that Aren wasn't affected at all by his murderous glare and just calmly looked back before he stared out of the windows again with an unreadable face, obviously he would block off every try of Kanda to fight with him. He recognized that steel like will which was hidden behind those gentle features of Aren's- Allen's face, he had the same hard will as Allen though it rarely came to surface, only in really serious and hard situations.

Fine with him, he'd find something else to let off some steam, or he could just mediate. Yes, that was it. At first he needed to calm down a bit. And find a hotel. Maybe there he could get a few answers to some unspoken questions inside him out from Aren. "What do you mean you don't have two free rooms?", Kanda hissed and slammed his hands down on the wooden counter which made the man behind it twitch back in fear, his face visible pale. "I-I'm sorry for this, but since we are full tonight I cannot even give two exorcists two free rooms. All we got is a free two-person room...", his voice trailed off and became weaker while his eyes nervously scurried to Mugen in the dark haired's hands which twitched visible, the man swallowed hectically.

Behind them Aren sighed and stepped at Kanda's side, lightly pushing an elbow against his ribs. "Kanda, be more polite", he chided quietly and turned to the trembling man, smiling friendly. "If you don't have more rooms then one it's okay, we'll be glad to take this one. Thanks for your effort." With that he nodded towards the pale hotel worker behind the counter and went up the stairs with the blue eyed male in tow while holding the key in his hands the man had handed over to him nervously. In front of their room he put the key into the lock and opened it, stepping inside his silver eyes fell on a certain furniture in the room.

"What the hell are you standing there and blocking the way?", the dark haired behind him growled impatiently and pushed him aside, only to freeze as well when his eyes fell on what the other exorcist saw. One single, big bed, obviously for two people. "Great, not even two single beds! I don't know what you are thinking but I'd rather sleep on the floor then with you in one bed!" "If you want to...i won't stop you, but I'll definitely sleep on the bed", Aren answered shortly and peeled his exorcist coat off, sniffing with a wrinkled forehead on his clothes, then he stood up and walked to the bathroom, saying over his shoulder:" I'm going to take a shower, okay?"

Not even waiting for the older male's answer he closed the door and locked it. "Che", the dark haired muttered and slowly sat down onto a couch in the room, his dark blue eyes absently wandered through the room itself while the thoughts circled around in his head, running back and forth and after another. The situation they were in was rather...complicated and weird, giving him piercing headache, a pressure on his head while he tried to relax a bit, getting his still slightly tensed muscles loose but it didn't work well.

First Allen avoided him for a month and, after a few things, finally promised Kanda he would tell him the answer of his question, only to somehow get kidnapped, captured, pulled out of his body. And now he was on the way to save him with Aren,that strange different personality created through several events no one could have anticipate, the one who had initiated the whole relationship stuff and was currently using Allen's body to help him.

Aren. Allen's other personality, his desire which had come to life and had taken on human shape.

So similar and yet so different from Allen. He only knew his origin, his 'birth' but nothing else of him, nothing of what he thought, felt and knew. He was helping him to save Allen, but...what exactly was Aren for him? And why was the white haired twin even doing this? His motive, his reason to help him was completely in the dark, the only thing he knew was that he was quite good at using his...ahem, body to make other, certain people do what he wanted.

But what was Aren for him? They had slept with each other two times now, including Allen the second time and it had been damn good, but...he was sure, no, he knew that he didn't love him. This burning feeling, this ache, this need to feel someone, a someone he knew very good to be close, to touch him, taste him, even just kissing him would be fine, that silver eyed exorcist who had stolen his heart without realizing it first.

He wanted Allen, he desired him, wanted to keep him close to him, protect him- even if he knew the white haired was able to defend himself in case, and it was driving him crazy, making him feel strangely helpless and angry at the same time, a confusing mixture which pulsed in his veins, making it impossible for him to really relax.

But Aren? He didn't know if he liked him, seeing all the things he had done, although Kanda now knew it had been for the sake of Allen's and his relationship, so maybe he could...like him. He kinda understood his motive, and although his possessive side didn't like the way Aren had kinda played match makers he was grateful for that. Not that he'd ever admit that loudly. Aren was...similar to Allen, both were stubborn and fought with him when others ran in fear, his expressions, the way he could poker with everyone without letting them notice it...

On the other hand Aren was still different, he was somehow...darker, more purposeful and would do everything to get what he wanted, it was visible in his- or rather Allen's eyes, even using his body, he emitted a subtle heat or aura which was the biggest or main difference between Allen and Aren. All his characteristics made Aren a person which was kinda complicated to grasp, he both attracted and irritated Kanda because he knew it wasn't Allen, but still...

The dark haired was aware of their different personalities and knew- he knew he could only love Allen because the white haired was special to him, in a way he had never thought was possible. If he had to define Aren's and his relationship he would say it was like between two animals who knew each others strength and used each other to sometimes release needs, 'living' in the same territory but not that close.

Kanda would never be able to - or rather let- himself get emotionally bound on Aren, at least not like he was with Allen. Friendship, yes, that was, maybe, possible, but more...? Maybe even intimate, but never like with Allen. No, it could never be like with being with Allen. A sudden creak of a door interrupted his thoughts and he looked up distracted, his dark blue eyes widening when he saw Aren stepping out of the bathroom...and all he was wearing was a white short towel around his hips.

The dark haired's eyes slowly wandered over the younger ones body, mesmerized by the smooth, silky wet skin which seemed to glint softly like pearls, glistening with water drops which slowly ran down the chest with its rosy nipples, the trained, flat stomach and over the navel, disappearing under the seam of the towel, the snow white hair clinging to his head and neck in a tempting arch...The dark haired felt heat, which had just been dormant before after having been suppressed, crawl under his skin, a familiar stirring in his pants while the hungry heat stretched its limbs hopefully, eager to get fed.

"What are you staring at?", Aren asked slightly mocking and bored at the same time, obviously thinking hard about while he walked around absently. Kanda growled and responded: " You could at least put some clothes on instead of walking around only in a towel! Ever heard of something called shame?" The white haired rolled his eyes and answered: "I'm not freezing, so there's no problem. And what about shame? Its not like you haven't already seen this body naked." "But this is not your body", the Japanese male replied angrier now and stared into Aren's silver eyes. "As if you would care about this fact! Why should it bother you that i#m in Allen's body? Its not like you haven't seen it before...or...is there another reason why you don't want to see me like that?", the silver eyed replied, his voice suddenly lower and darker, a smug sound coloring his voice.

"Could it be...that you feel hot when you see me like that?" Kanda growled and stood up, walking in front of him and replying in a dangerously dark voice: "Was that a challenge?" "Maybe...", Aren whispered, leaning closer, almost touching the older male's chest, remaining in this position for a few, pulsing seconds with half lidded eyes, silver gray shimmering tempting between the white eyelashes. But as fast as his voice had changed his expression changed, leaning back he grinned: "Ah, you are so easy to tease. Calm down, I wasn't serious! Anyway...", he then said and wiped a hew hairs out of his eyes, "Since its bothering you so much I'm going to put on my clothes, its time to go sleeping..."

With that he turned around and walked back to the bathroom. Behind him Kanda hissed, feeling a vein pulsing on his forehead. This damn idiot, teasing him like that, just when he already wasn't in a very good mood, he would pay for this...In the next moment Aren, who had already his hand on the door knob, cried out in surprise and pain when a second body pushed against his own hard, trapping him between the door and flesh, hands grabbing his wrists to roughly slam them against the wood over his head.

"What the hell are you doing?", he hissed and tried to rip his hands free, but failed against the steel like grip Kanda had on him. "You provoked it", the older male growled into his ear, breathing purposely over the wet skin of Aren's neck, who shuddered involuntarily, "And I think you need to learn when you have to submit..." "Make me", the white haired responded challengingly and pulled hard on his left arm while slamming his elbow into the blue eyed's ribs who grunted in pain, loosing his grip a little, which gave Aren enough room to finally manage freeing his left arm. He already wanted to activate its innocence when Kanda recovered and slammed him hard against the door with no mercy.

Aren cried out in pain, shortly losing his concentration for a few seconds, but it was enough for the black haired to grab his left wrist again, in the next moment a click could be heard and something cold enclosed the white haired's wrist, making him twitch in surprise. Annoyed and confused he tried to activate his innocence, but it didn't work, it felt like something was suppressing it with force and kept it under control like a belt preventing him from breaking free. "What is that?", he asked irritated while trying to force his innocence activation, which only caused a numb pressure in his left hand, slightly heated through his try to break free. He could feel the other male move behind him, leaning closer until he felt his breath on his ear: "That's a special bracelet, it suppresses your innocence and makes you unable to use it", Kanda said smugly and pressed himself closer, slowly licking over Aren's quivering neck who gasped lightly. "Just to make sure you can't escape or use Crown Clown on me..."

The white haired closed his eyes and breathed out, then his silver eyes opened again, murmuring to his captor: "So...now that you've got me more or less unable to fight...what are you going to do?" His voice, dark and velvet, glided over the Japanese man's skin, who growled in response and said: "What does it look like? You know I'm only using you." "I don't care, that's fine with me...", the younger male murmured and slowly rubbed his ass, only clad in a towel, provokingly against Kanda's crotch, bringing out a deep growl of the exorcist.

"I can feel how hard you are", he purred mockingly and rubbed harder, ignoring the tightening of the grpi around his wrists and whispered challengingly: "Come on, use me, I'm waiting." "Che". In the next moment Aren cried out in shock and surprise when Kanda bit into his shoulder, nipping hard and sucking on the bruised skin while his other hand slipped directly under the towel, wrapping itself around the white haired's erection, squeezing it hard.

"D-damn", Aren gasped, crying out again when the dark haired started to pump him hard and fast while his other hand crawled over the still slightly wet skin until it found the half hard nipples and pinched into them, rubbing in circles around the small nubs which twitched in response, smirking in satisfaction the older exorcist listened to the gasps Aren emitted. "You like that, hmm? Wanna have it hard?", he asked huskily and grabbed into the soft white hair, forcing the silver eyed's head back to bite into his neck, sucking greedily onto the white skin where slowly a red mark appeared.

"Maybe, try it a little harder and I might tell you", the white haired panted and arched up,l pushing his ass against the clothed erection of the dark haired who hissed in response, pressing harder against the body of Aren who groaned, his hands quickening the speed they were pumping the white haired's cock, sliding over the velvet skin.

Their bodies pushed against each other, naked skin rubbing over the cloth of Kanda's shirt, a raw, yet pleasant sensation, arousing both of them even more. Fuck, Kanda needed to feel more of Aren, it was to little to satisfy his stimulated desire. With a growl he ripped his shirt off and opened his pants, hissing at the feeling of Aren's naked skin gliding over his own, who gasped in surprise at the sensation.

This time he had the dominance, the control over the white haired twin who arched against him, grunting and moaning in response when his hands rubbed harder, sliding up and down Aren's twitching length, he could feel the wetness of cum clinging on his fingertips, a heavy, salty smell which radiated off in waves from the smaller body so close to him. He could tell that Aren loved it, the rough treatment, the way he responded to every stroke, every touch, greedy and wild, once again he jerked his head back, turning it aside to kiss him hard, bruising his lips and forcing them apart.

Aren pulled back and bit into his lips, refusing to let go when Kanda growled, hissing he stroke out and slapped his right ass cheek while his other hand still forced the younger male's head bended back and aside. Smirking at the cry the white haired made and used the opportunity to plunge his tongue inside the wet cavern, ravishing him until Aren could only moan and purr in heated pleasure, throwing his head back in shock when the dark haired tightened his grip around his hard cock and slid his fingers over the tip, more cum dripping out.

Unconsciously he spread his legs wider to give Kanda more access who now fondled his balls, squeezing hard and releasing them again, hungrily the blue eyed exorcist pressed his mouth on his neck and bit again into the flesh, pressing his nose into the curve of Aren's neck and shoulder to deeply inhale his smell. Though Aren was in Allen's body it was a different smell, a heavy, earthy smell, dark chocolate mixing with the note of forest and a breeze of vanilla, which strangely still aroused him although it was not Allen's smell he had become so intoxicated with. But right now he didn't care, as long as he could satisfy his insane hunger.

Aren moaned, trying to turn around but the dark haired tightened his grip on his wrists, refusing to let go his prey, he wouldn't allow the white haired to take control this time which made the younger male groan in frustration. "Damn it, let me turn around! I don't want to stay pressed against a door the whole time!" "Shut up, you'll do what I say and nothing else", the older exorcist hissed and buried his teeth into Aren's shoulder who cried out, his body arching forward right into Kanda's hand which pumped him harder, forming a cock ring to prevent him from coming.

The white haired cursed and gasped, body shaking in wild pleasure his hands scratched over the smooth wood in an useless attempt to find a hold which made the dark haired smirk evilly, his hand moved faster, now wet with sweat and cum smeared on it before he released Aren's hard cock, his own erection was throbbing painfully in his pants, begging for attention, but he managed to ignore it, too busy with torturing and tasting Aren according to his will.

With a grunt he buried his head into the white haired's neck, inhaling that smell a bit more, this scent which was somehow so similar and yet so different from Allen's and still arousing him, not stopping his desire for him, to take him, fuck him hard, being in control of the one who had done the same to him twice. Breathing hard he licked over the sweaty neck, feeling the fast pulse of his victim under the velvet skin.

He needed to feel him more, to touch him more, with a growl he stroke over the flat stomach, feeling how the muscles moved under the skin, in and out in the rhythm of Aren's fast breath which smell tickled his nose, but it was still not enough for him. He needed heat, being inside him, again his hand climbed higher, grabbing one of Aren's hard nipples to twist it slightly, running up and down his trembling sides, his moans and sounds were like a drug which spurred him on more.

"Fuck, Kanda", Aren panted and bend his head back to lean into Kanda's shoulder, breathing hard, "Do something, I need release!" "Shut up", the exorcist cut him roughly and grabbed his erection again which smoothly glided through his hand, reminding him of his own aching cock in his pants, growling he rubbed his crotch against the younger male's ass, clearly feeling the well trained yet soft ass, which pushed against him demanding.

The throbbing in his cock flared up again, this time harder and more painfully. The animal inside him extended its claws and growled in sheer hunger and need, panting he grabbed Aren's chin and licked over his protesting lips, forcing them apart to briefly taste the sweet, moist wetness before he slipped his fingers inside which made the white haired moan half choked in surprise, commanding harshly: "Suck!"

The white haired obeyed and started to suck, tasting his own cum on his lips and tongue, breathing hard through his nose he took them deeper and started to swirl his tongue around them. He explored their length and the rough, calloused skin, licking over the tips and around them, into the cleft between them, coating them with saliva- in the next moment they were gone and he groaned in displeasure, but before he could complain more the fingers were replaced by a wet tongue which glided into his feeling empty mouth and started to explore it, heatedly he pushed back to fight for dominance to which Kanda immediately responded, determined to show Aren how he could dominate him, with no mercy he bit into his bruised lips, enjoying the half annoyed, half pleasured moan he got for that.

Both men breathed hard, grinding their bodies together in heated desire, skin against skin, covered in sweat while heat filled the air, the tension in the room nearly bursting with sexual hunger and greed. "H...how long are you planning to stay like this? How about you d-do a bit more?", Aren asked panting and groaned when Kanda buried into his left earlobe, his hand trailed down the trembling form of his chest, pinching a nipple to keep his attention, without even trying to answer. He then grabbed his victim's wrists harder and slammed him against the door, smirking at Aren's muffled curse who complained loudly, definitely not liking to stay pressed flatly against the smooth, cool wood.

In the next second the white haired cried out again when Kanda pushed two fingers deep inside him with no warning, the muscles immediately clamped down on the intruders, warm, wet heat enclosing the dark haired's fingers who hissed slightly at the feeling of his fingers getting pressed together, growling he spread them in scissor moves which made Aren groan out.

"Fucking start to relax or I'll hurt you more then I want", he hissed and pushed his fingers deeper in a hard, rough movement, making the younger male cry out hoarsely who panted and growled as a response, trembling he spread his legs wider to give the dark haired a better access and mocked breathlessly: "Am I made of glass or why do you treat me so gently?"

"Stop teasing me you idiot", the blue eyed exorcist hissed and grunted, sweat dripping down his chest, trying to find a better angle for his fingers he released Aren's wrist and wrapped one arm around his hips to have a better hold. "Come on, do me harder", Aren spurred him challengingly, only to gasp loudly in shock, his body twisting like mad while he fought for air, nails scratching over the wood while a shock wave of pleasure shot through his body. The dark haired had thrust his fingers deep inside the heated flesh, hitting his sweet spot with force.

The Japanese man grinned evilly and thrust harder into Aren, his free hand sneaking down to grab his hard cock, making the white haired curse half suppressed. With a glare in Kanda's direction he panting pushed his ass against Kanda's fingers to impale himself deeper onto them which made the older male grunt in surprise, he cursed and squeezed Aren's erection hard as a punishment.

The white haired twin panted, moaning shamelessly while he tried to move in the same way to meet those rough fingers, to feel that burning pleasure again which drove him crazy. He could clearly feel with his hyper sensitive skin Kanda's muscular body behind him who pumped him in the same rhythm as he thrust into him, a third finger joined the other two and spread him more, arching up Aren cried, with flushed cheeks and impatience in his voice he cursed: "Dammit Kanda, just fuck me already, I can't take this any longer!"

"What did you say?", Kanda said huskily with evil pleasure in his voice, pretending like he hadn't heard the white haired at all. "I couldn't understand you right, maybe you want to say it again...", he teased with a smug face, smirking he pushed harder into Aren and rubbed over his hard length, the white haired cried out, swallowing his snappish answer when another wave of the burning, addicting heat made his body thrill, his skin felt way too hot, threatening to burst.

"Come on, fuck me now", he moaned, whimpering, and pushed his body closer to the blue eyed man, to make him hit his sweet spot again, but Kanda leaned back and teased: "Tell me what you want, I can't hear you!". "You idiotic ass, just fuck me!", Aren yelled in frustration, emptying his lungs, his body twitched in frustration and angry need. "Louder", Kanda whispered huskily into his ear and slowly stroke over the dripping tip of the white haired's cock, making him hiss and moan, trembling he arched into the hand which teased him so painfully slow, his patience ripping like a thread of silk before he yelled: "JUST FUCK ME; DAMMIT!" "Good boy", the dark haired whispered in silky mocking into his ear.

In the next moment Aren cried out in pain mixed with arousal, Kanda had pulled out his fingers and had thrust into him with one smooth movement. He bend his head back, hissing in relief and pleasure when his aching erection was buried into the velvet, wet heat which wrapped itself so tight around him that he felt like he could come with the next movement.

Not even wanting to wait a bit he started to thrust hard into Aren with no mercy, wild and rough, the silver eyed exorcist cried out again, but instead of trying to make Kanda go slower he pushed back, impaling himself deeper onto the dark haired's length. Grunting the older man forced himself deeper into the warm moistness, slamming into the male in front of him, meeting his sweet spot again which made the younger moan loudly, he threw his head back and gasped in pleasure.

Heat, mixed with different scents filled the air, heavy and strong, like a drug it invaded Kanda's senses who tried to hit Aren's sweet spot harder but couldn't find the right angle, angrily he ripped his head back to bite into his shoulder, roughly grabbing his dripping length to stroke it, emitting another cry of the white haired who pushed back challengingly, his muscles clamping down onto the black haired's hard cock which made him grunt in surprise, but it was still not enough to satisfy the insane hunger inside him.

Forcefully he pulled out to thrust back again into Aren's tight heat, again and again, slamming him against the bathroom door, but it still wasn't enough and with a grunt the dark haired pulled out completely, earning an annoyed moan of Aren, who squeaked in surprise when two strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist and threw him over Kanda's shoulder who carried him to the bed, dropping him there abruptly.

With a muffled curse Aren landed on the soft mattress, but before he could complain more he was attacked by Kanda's hands and mouth who conquered his mouth greedily, their tongues meeting once again in a heated fight, until the dark haired pulled back to lick over his trembling neck, tasting sweat and desire, their eyes met shortly, deep blue and silver. Then the Japanese man roughly spread his legs and pushed into the rosy, puckered hole hidden between them with force, Aren cried out in pain and arched back, his hands grabbing Kanda's back, his fingers burying themselves into his shoulder blades, pulling him down and closer.

Panting the older exorcist followed the pull, pressing his head against Aren's neck to briedfly smell his arousal before he pulled out of him, only to slam back again, in and out like an animal, the heat had already erased any other thought. No words, no pictures, all which was counting now were their bodies so close without any shell between, grinding into each other, guided by wild, raw animal desire.

Their bodies melted into each other, sweat glistened on their skin, the heat making them feel like they were burning with every fiber of their being, and with a last gathering of his energy Kanda grabbed Aren's dripping cock and pumped it hard. The silver haired was caught by surprise and cried out loud in pleasure, and with one, last, hard thrust the dark haired hit his sweet spot, making the silver eyed clamp down his muscles in shock with so much force on him that he couldn't hold it any longer.

Both males threw their heads back, Aren screamed in pleasure while Kanda's body reared up, his mouth opened itself for a silent scream before the orgasm exploded in their minds with heat, pleasure filling their veins. For a few, blissful seconds which seemed like eternity it felt like they would explode as well, bursting with their veins filled with the maximum pleasure, their bodies twitching and curling up before the orgasm slowly dissolved, leaving them panting and exhausted.

For a few minutes they just laid there, breathing heavily, then Kanda pulled out with grunt which made Aren hiss slightly, semen and a bit blood dripping out of his entrance. The dark haired had surely seen way more blood then this, but it was still enough to make him feel guilty again, the relief, release of stress he had felt slowly started to fade away, after all this body was still Allen's body, and to treat it like that- "Stop. Stop thinking about it, its alright", a voice suddenly intrrupted his thoughts, irritated he looked up into Aren's face.

The white haired had stood up, fixing him with his silver eyes: "That's nothing, we already did it harder together, right? So stop worrying about it, it will heal quickly, you'll only make your self mad. Plus, it was just for release, it wasn't like you forced me." With that the younger exorcist turned around and walked, while limping slightly, naked as he was into the bathroom, then he returned after a few minutes of cleaning and threw a towel and a wet washcloth at Kanda who caught it and cleaned himself silently.

Meanwhile Aren slipped into a pair of loose pants for sleeping and walked to the couch in the room, but before he reached it Kanda called: "Oi, Aren!"" "What?", surprised the white haired turned around and looked at the Japanese man who was already laying in the bed with his back towards Aren under the blanket. "You can sleep in the bed if you want...", the dark haired muttered and pulled the blanket higher over his naked shoulders, the silver eyed male looked surprised but nevertheless he slowly walked to the bed and carefully slipped under the blanket, trying to avoid touching the black haired man next to him.

With a sigh Aren closed his eyes and already wanted to sleep when he suddenly heard rustling beside him and Kanda suddenly said slowly: "Can I ask you something?" "What?", the white haired murmured half surprised, half tired and moved around to find a more comfortable position. "Why are you doing this?" The dark haired could feel how Aren stiffened under the blanket, there was a short silence before he replied: "To save Allen, why else?" Kanda snorted and replied: "Yeah, I know that. But what I want to know is why? Why do you want to save the Moyashi? Shouldn't you be happy that you now got a body- his body- and can do whatever you want? What exactly is he for you?"

"Why do you want to know that?", Aren asked slowly, his voice calm, but underneath a feeling swung in it, a feeling Kanda couldn't name exactly. "Because this questions have been in my head since you asked me to help you. I want to know it, so tell me: What is he for you?" Aren sighed and closed his eyes again, the eyelashes hiding the bright mirrors of silver before they opened and he turned his head towards Kanda who looked at him with narrowed eyes.

He laughed weakly, a sound the other exorcist had never heard like that from him, and stroke over his eyes, slowly saying: "I...i don't know how to explain it, its difficult...What I feel for him, and what he is for me...that's not something easy to...understand, considering the circumstances we 'met'. Allen is...he is the source of my whole being, the reason why I even exist. Something as abnormal as me shouldn't be existing, but...it happened, and here I am in this world.

You asked me why I would want to save him and not be happy to have a body, its because I never really had the wish to posses one for myself. I am a part of him, even like this, a part of his body, without him it just feels...wrong, it doesn't feel right to be in his body, its like something is missing, so...Why should I be happy to have his body then? He was the one who brought me to life, although I sometimes think it would have been better if I didn't exist...

So, if Allen is the earth, then I'm the plant born and fed through it. How could I enjoy having his body for me with him being my creator? I would do anything for him, if I had to die I'd do it...although that would be impossible for me now, as long as I am inside his body...and that's why I want to save him. But I know I wouldn't be able to do this alone. That's why I need your help. You, the one who loves him, would also do anything for him, right? You are also the only one who could possibly understand why I am doing this- and help me..."

The dark haired was silent, his mind going through everything he had just heard, trying to sort it out, then he slowly asked: "And...what are your feelings for him?" "My feelings?", Aren repeated tired and murmured something, too low for Kanda to understand, then he sighed and murmured: "I don't know. What I feel...its too complicated to explain, something I could tell nobody, not even you. I'll let you know I owe him a lot, something, after everything I put him- and you- through."

For a few minutes there was silence, then Aren looked at Kanda who stared at the ceiling thoughtfully, his face shut and dark, and softly asked: "And what's with your feelings?" "What?" Distracted from his thoughts Kanda turned his head and stared at Aren who looked back calmly: "Yes, your feeling". "Why the fuck are you even asking, you should know it already!" "I didn't mean that you love Allen, I know that. I asked because of what happened five days ago...i wanted to know if you feel better now, after that stress release..."

The dark haired growled and answered: "I will only feel better when Moyashi is back and this problem between us is cleared." The silver eyed didn't reply at this answer and was quiet for a while, then he asked tentative: "Do you miss him?" Kanda closed his eyes, seeing a picture of Allen, his Allen, how he smiled at him, the longing was so strong that it felt like he was slowly being ripped apart bit by bit, mixed with the bitter pain and shame to not having been able to protect him when he should have, then he slowly nodded: "Yes".

Just one word, made with three letters, and yet so much was hidden in this single which sounded so short and yet was as deep as the ocean, deep and wishfully. The blue eyed could feel the white haired moving next to him, a short rustling of the blanket before he carefully asked: "Do you want to...well, hold me? Only if you want of course...After all, this is still Allen's body, and if it makes you feel better...". Aren fell silent, sounding for the first time since Kanda knew him a bit embarrassed. The dark haired didn't answer, the silver eyed sighed and murmured: "Sorry, it was just an offer, if you wanted...".

He coughed a bit and already wanted to turn around when suddenly two strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist and he was pressed against a broad chest, feeling Kanda's hot breath in his hair. "Don't you dare to tell this Allen", Kanda muttered threateningly , shifting around to find a better position. "Don't worry, its not like we do this because we love each other, that should be obvious", Aren replied dryly and yawned, then he closed his eyes and murmured a tired: "Good night...", falling asleep with the sound of another body's breathing next to him.

**Soo, this was it...pheew...**

**How was it? Exciting? Boring? Too long? Not detailed enough?**

**It really got quite a bit longer then I planned, but thought after this terrible, **

**mean, extremely long fu*** break I forced onto you you deserved at least the lemon at the end! **

***yawning***

**I think I stop now and go to sleep, I'm really tired...**

**please forgive me if there are even more mistakes then usual, **

**but I just had to upload it today/ tonight so that you could read it soon...**

**I apologize for that*bowing***

**Well then, good night for now my dear readers...**

***falling asleep on the keyboard while drooling and snoring***

**your author Kamo-chan**

**REVIEWS PLEASE!**


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